Monday, October 27, 2008

Now what

My volleyball team did not advance to Regionals, we fought the good fight with the top team in the state but came up short. There are no regrets - we played a well as we could, which was all I asked of the team. We faced a team that should end up winning the State Finals- are they beatable, yes. Enough about them, I am extremely proud of my team. They played with heart and courage. They finished the season playing their best volleyball - what more can a coach ask!

So I pose the question ... now what? I am certain I have been "hiding" behind volleyball to keep me from dealing with the reality of my pregnancy. I firmly believe that God will bring me through, and my heart knows this. I have been able to protect my mind since July ... but now the next 10 weeks I need to get serious. Aaron and I need to read the booklets we received in September, we need to make plans. Will it be hard - absolutely. Will God be with us - for sure. Will we survive - defiantly. Will we become stronger and better through this experience - without a doubt. Do we need to understand everything now - no (but it would be helpful)

May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance 
2 Thessalonians 3:5

As we face the reality of making plans, I need to be filled with the strength and perseverance of Christ.
How do you do that? My best guess - pray for it. It will not arrive, unless I ask.
So I continue to boldly ask the Lord to strengthen my heart, my mind and my soul. Strengthen me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Strengthen Jeremy, continue to cover him with all your love and strength. Allow Aaron the strength and comfort needed to make decisions that are pleasing to you. Cover our Family with your love and perseverance.

In addition to the above reading, I also took a look at 
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation
          whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life
        of whom shall I be afraid?

4 One thing I ask of thee Lord,  this is what I seek:
         That I may dwell in the house 
        of the Lord all the days of my life,
   to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
   and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me
      safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the
    shelter of his tabernacle and 
set me high upon a rock.

13 I am still confident of this; 
  I will see the goodness of the Lord
 in the land of the living.

As Aaron and I head into territory that we are unsure of, we know we are not alone. We know that not only is God with us, the body of Christ goes with us too. As David wrote in this Psalm, with God why fear, why doubt, why be afraid. We will continue to trust and walk in faith that God has a perfect plan. 

I would like to end with this prescription ...
Now, may the Lord of Peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. 
The Lord be with all of you.  
2 Thessalonians 3:16




Go Mom Go said...

I am praying too.

I am here...always!


Hoosier Hoffmans said...

Dear Beth,

As I read your post, I wept as I was reminded of the same feelings of being "lost" with my daughter Rachel. I remember saying to myself and my husband, "This is so wrong. I should be rejoicing and anticipating Rachel's birth...not planning a funeral." I won't lie to you--there are tough days ahead but God's grace truly is sufficient. You WILL get through this; stronger and with a real knowledge of God's unwavering love and comfort.

I am still praying for you, Aaron, and Jeremy.