Saturday, February 28, 2009

the cousins

Too cute not to post ... Friday Kate the Kat Katcher arrived at my house early - 7:15am. We had tentative plans to head to the Children's Museum with my sister, the twins and the baby ... all depending on how they felt. This was a make up day, we were going to go Wednesday. So the Kat Katcher came along, she did not mind leaving the cats to go see her cousins. We had a good time. I caught this as we left the dinosaurs and headed to the trains ... they are 2 years apart, Kate will be 5 in September and the twins 3 in July. We had a fun day and it was FULL! I dropped Kate off at home after 3pm.


Friday, February 27, 2009


After talking with Aaron Thursday morning - it was very clear to me that all those "things" that I perceived I was passionate about are nothing unless I am passionate pursuing my relationship with Jesus.
When I try to find my passion and define myself in those things - I will never find any type of satisfaction. All those activities can be great, and full of fire - when I am intentional about igniting my passion for Christ. He makes all things new - A-HA, the reading from Joel on Wednesday.

Recently I have been trying to make "things" normal. And normal for me is what my life looked like one year ago. After these past 2 busy days, it is clear my normal before Jeremy is gone. Jeremy moved me to a new place. I have been re-created, just like when we truly commit our lives to the Lord. There must be a change - you can not continue to live a worldly life when we are called to change. When I try to focus on the things, I loose sight of God and then there is no direction no passion no fire. In an effort to comfort my own heart with the loss of Jeremy I have wanted to get my life to my old normal - but just like my "Special Nurse" told me in September - the Old Beth is gone and a New Beth will emerge. At the time I did not understand, I could not even begin to wrap my head around the idea. This new revelation is heavy for me - not bad or good , just heavy.
Currently, I am working on settling into the new me. A work in progress - I feel like I am getting to know a new person. I am often surprised that I do and do not do certain things.

I know, trust and walk in faith that God has a perfect plan - and I look forward to watching the plans unfold.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

On Fire?

Where is my passion - where is the fire of a dream placed in me?
I am lost.
I do not have a specific passion right now - in the past it has been as if I am on fire - for coaching, teaching, jewelery - what ever I was doing - I was on FIRE - the Lord had placed a Passion for them in me.
Today, I feel like all my flames have been put out. Even the new opportunities I have been working on are just little lights - not even flickering.
I feel so BLAH.

my reading in Joshua this morning:
"Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods of your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods of your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Then the people answered, "Far be it from us to forsake the Lord to serve other gods! " Joshua 24:14-16

my prayer: Father God, I love You with all my heart, and I choose to serve You this day and everyday. Lord, build in me a passion and a heart that is on fire for you - in all areas of my life. Continue to build the flames of passion where You desire for me to be. I bring you my pleas for help and strength, guide me on the paths that are pleasing to you. Help me to see your heart in all things. Father, go before me in all things, that I may know your hand is there and you are pleased. In Jesus' name Amen.

So am I more clear on anything - no. But I have taken my heart to the throne. And we serve an awesome God who love us and will guide me along this journey.

SO then I read JOEL ...
He Makes All things New
Today's Scripture

"…and He who is seated on the throne said, See! I make all things new…" (Revelation 21:5, AMP).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
When God puts a dream in your heart, when He puts a promise on the inside, He deposits within you everything you need to accomplish that dream. He wouldn't give you the desire to do something without giving you the ability to fulfill it. In fact, the scripture tells us that God gives us the desires of our heart. In other words, He puts the desire inside of us and then works with us to bring it to pass. Oftentimes, people set out to accomplish their dreams, but they face a setback or disappointment, and then they feel like their time has passed. But let me tell you today, no matter where you've come from, no matter what's happened in your past, God wants to make you new. He wants to give you a "do over," a fresh start. If you feel like you've missed opportunities in your life, if you feel like your time has passed, remember, today is a new day. You are a new person, and God has new opportunities in store for you. If one dream has died, it's time to dream a new dream.
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, thank You for making all things new. I give You this day and invite You to have Your way in every area of my life. I choose to receive all the promises You have in store for me. In Jesus' Name. Amen

The Word is good .... and I am certain the Lord will fan my flames and I once again will be ON FIRE!


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

pray big

Joshua 10: 1-15 ... The sun stands still!
No one could accuse Joshua of lacking boldness in prayer. He ordered the sun and moon to stand still. And they did! The sundial stopped at noon and did not start again until the following noon. God added an extra day. God's people were fighting a battle in His name, and darkness would have prevented the army of Israel from wrapping up the victory. The God who created the sun and the moon, light and darkness, could easily suspend the natural process for His purposes. The lesson we can draw from this is that we should pray BIG. Too often we ask too small because we don't believe God can or will do that much. We lose our boldness by dwelling on all the reasons why He might not answer our prayers. But Joshua shows us how to reach for the sun. He prayed outlandishly! Joshua wasn't proving he was in command, he was letting God display His awesome power.

prayer "Lord, teach me not to limit You with small prayers! Give me the faith to pray big!"


Monday, February 23, 2009

Secret to Healing

From God Calling:
Love the busy life. It is a joy-filled life. Ilove you both and bid you be of good cheer. Take your fill of joy in the Spring. Live outside whenever possible. Sun and air are My great healing forces, and that inward Joy that changes poisoned blood to a pure healthy life-giving flow.
Never forget that real healing of body, mind, and Spirit comes from within, from the close loving contact of your spirit with My Spirit.

I am healing.
Feeding my soul with the love of Christ through His word and the actions of those around me who continue to pour into me - often without even knowing it.

I continue to pray for the hole in my heart to be filled with the grace and peace of Our Father. As time passes and lives move forward, I also move forward.


Friday, February 20, 2009

Take it to Him

This morning all my readings lined up together - sometimes they are apparent, other times I have to search.

from God Calling:
Claim Your Rights
In everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known unto God."
but do not beg. Rather come just as a business manager bringing to the owner the needs, checks to be signed, etc., and knowing that to lay the matter before him means immediate supply.
I long to supply, but by asking - or the faith assurance from you, is necessary, because to you that contact with Me is vital.

In my bible reading, I am at the point in Deuteronomy (3:23-25) where Moses knows he is not going to get to enter the Promised Land, but desperately longs to enter the Land. God provides him a glimpse, that is it. Moses' heart desire is to enter the land and he prays to God. This is the reminder that even when we pry for something we may not get exactly what we want, exactly the way we want it. But that can not stop us from praying to God our hearts desire. After praying - we must thank God for accomplishing His perfect will in our lives. We must tell Him and BELIEVE that we trust His answer is best.

My hearts desire was to have Jeremy for MANY MANY years on earth, God knows my heart. He knows that handing my son right back has wounded me to the core. But I thank him for the 71 min, that I was able to hold my precious son, that was my glimpse. I must trust and believe in His answer - I do not have to understand - I do not need to understand.
God knows my heart, but I will still bring my requests to Him. I lay out my continued desire to have more children with Aaron. I desire to raise children to know our Lord here on earth. I pray my desires are pleasing to God - in the name of Jesus.


Wednesday, February 18, 2009


from expecting to surrendering.

From Stormies Heart
God puts dreams in our hearts to give us vision and inspiration and to guide us to the right path. That's why we have to make sure the dreams we have are not from our own flesh. The only way to be sure of that is to lay all of our dreams at His feet and let them die. And we must also die to them. The ones that are not from Him will be buried forever. The ones that are from Him will be given new life.
God doesn't want any part of you to be unsurrendered, not even the dreams He has put in your heart. If you give Him all of your dreams, then you will see which ones are born of His Spirit. Pursuing the ones that aren't will only lead to misery, frustration, and unfulfillment. Dying to your dreams is difficult, but if you reach up and take your heavenly Father's hand, He will shine His light on the situation and walk you through the process step-by-step.
God often provides just enough light for the stept we are on - we have to trust Him and walk in obedience to his leading. Then He will illuminate the next step we are to take ...

"...he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. " Psalm 23:3
prayer: I pray that You, Father, would restore my soul and lead me on the path You have for my life.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I do have big expectations for this year - I believe as we come through trials there are big things on the other side - I do need to surrender what I wish and hope for when I am expecting big thing - and trust that God will know just what I need.
What Are You Expecting
Today's Scripture
"…Open wide your mouth and I will fill it" (Psalm 81:10, NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
"Do you have your mouth open wide today?" In other words, are you expecting God to fill you and increase you beyond measure? Negative thinking closes you to what God wants to do in your life. If you go around thinking, "Well, I don't think I'll ever meet my sales goals this year with the economy like it is"; or "I don't think I'll ever get promoted. I'm not that qualified"; or "I don't think I'll ever get well", then the problem is that your mouth is barely open. But Jesus said, "According to your faith it will be done unto you." He might as well have said, "If you've got a cup, I'll fill you with a cup level of blessing. If you've got a bucket, I'll fill you with a bucket level of blessing." Jesus is saying today, why don't you take the limits off? Why don't you believe for supernatural opportunities? Why don't you go out each day expecting increase and promotion? Expect favor, expect peace, expect joy. If you'll go out each day expecting far-and-beyond favor, if you'll "open wide your mouth", you won't be disappointed. He'll fill your cup until it overflows so that you can live the abundant life He has in store for you.
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, I come before You today with an open and humble heart, ready to receive all You have for me. Teach me to live a life that is pleasing to You so that I can be an example of Your love in the world around me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Today was a big day for me ... my parents are on a Caribbean Cruise this week which means I got to spend all day with Jameson. He is my 4.5 month old nephew, who on Tuesdays and Thursdays spends the day with my mother "Nana". We had a blast. He enjoys laying on his back, on his belly, sleeping, smiling and even does some giggles. I will also get to spend Thursday with him, I hope he is just as easy then as he was today. I was excited to spend the day with Jameson, but I certainly missed Jeremy. He would be 6 weeks - and to say my heart does not ache for him is a lie. I know my day will come with children of our own on earth, our future children will be so blessed and so will I.


Monday, February 16, 2009


Murphy, my cat, for the past few months has not looked good. His fur was looking matted, he had dandruff (he is an all black cat so it shows) and we was getting very very thin. He spends most of his time sleeping either on my bed or on the couch. He also began to lick the plates in the sink, eat on any food that was left out and even approached Aarons dinner plate one night. This is not typical behavior for either of the cats. (We have 2 cats, Murphy, 11 years and Foster 10 years, both all black - that is another story)
This past August, I changed the food the cats were eating, one of them was constantly throwing up. So I stopped the wet food and changed to a food for sensitive systems. After watching Murphy diligently the last 6 weeks, I was getting worried. I thought he was starting to wear down and that all I could do for him was love him. Before taking him to the vet, I decided to try adding some wet food back into the diet.
When he heard the package open, he ran to the kitchen and began meowing like never before ... he ate the food quickly and looked for more. un known to me, I was starving my cat! In two days, his fur has improved and he is actually awake some of the time during the day. :):) YEAH, I am pretty sure he has many more years in his life! I do feel very bad for not thinking of changing the the food sooner! SORRY MURPHY! - that is my confession.

Now that is off my chest ... Aaron and I had a great Sunday. After he preached Sunday, we headed to Bloomngton to waitch IU play the Illini ... we did wear blue and orange:) A friend of Aarons has tickets and was kind enough to pass them to us for this game. GO ILLINOIS! Neither one of us had ever been to Assembly Hall, in Bloomington what a treat. The sides go straight up! Thankfully our seats were close to the floor and center of the court. We even had other Illinois fans around us. Yes, the good guys won ... I-L-L I-N-I!

From Joel this morning ... as I continue to work on my grad classes and assist Aaron in ministry things .... I have time to think and consider what I am expecting:
What Are You Expecting
Today's Scripture

"…Open wide your mouth and I will fill it" (Psalm 81:10, NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
"Do you have your mouth open wide today?" In other words, are you expecting God to fill you and increase you beyond measure? Negative thinking closes you to what God wants to do in your life. If you go around thinking, "Well, I don't think I'll ever meet my sales goals this year with the economy like it is"; or "I don't think I'll ever get promoted. I'm not that qualified"; or "I don't think I'll ever get well", then the problem is that your mouth is barely open. But Jesus said, "According to your faith it will be done unto you." He might as well have said, "If you've got a cup, I'll fill you with a cup level of blessing. If you've got a bucket, I'll fill you with a bucket level of blessing." Jesus is saying today, why don't you take the limits off? Why don't you believe for supernatural opportunities? Why don't you go out each day expecting increase and promotion? Expect favor, expect peace, expect joy. If you'll go out each day expecting far-and-beyond favor, if you'll "open wide your mouth", you won't be disappointed. He'll fill your cup until it overflows so that you can live the abundant life He has in store for you.
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, I come before You today with an open and humble heart, ready to receive all You have for me. Teach me to live a life that is pleasing to You so that I can be an example of Your love in the world around me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

I continue to listen for the Lord to say GO - and he is certainly showing me new things daily!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

2.14 - Valentines Day

A friend shared this scripture with me earlier this week ....
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

As you do something special to demonstrate your love for your "someone" special ... try to remember who made your love possible.


Friday, February 13, 2009

ouch - my head

I woke up this morning with a pounding head ache - it feels best if I am laying down. It is starting to get better. I will shower soon, then head to the airport to pick up a college friend:) I am excited to see her - it has been way to long! She is "passing" through she is only going to be in Indy for a few hours. But hey, will take what I can get!

Class #2 is DONE, sign sealed delivered! 2 more to go. Then I will have my 6 hours to renew my teachers licence this summer.

from yesterday, God Calling, Meet Me Everywhere
Life is really consciousness of Me.
Have no fear. A very beautiful future lies before you. Let it be a new life, a new existence, in which in every single happening, even, plan, you are conscious of Me.
"And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, and Jesus Christ, who thou hast sent."
Get this ever-consciousness and you have Eternal Life - the Life of the Ages. Be in all things led by the Spirit of God and trust Me in all. And the consciousness of Me must bring Joy. Give ME not only trust but gladness.

I have been trusting God, consistently, unwavering over the past many months. But I have I been trusting fully in GLADNESS? have I really been able to find joy around me? Sure, I find some things to be pleasant, happy and nice - but truly JOYFUL and with GLADNESS? I am not sure. If I am not sure, then I have to believe that I have not been Trusting in Gladness. To receive all the blessings that God wished to pour out - I must with intention trust in gladness and joy.

my prayer: Dear Lord, fill me up with your strength so I am able to fully trust in you - full of gladness and joy. Allow me to be intentional to honor you. I pray for those around me that need to be filled with your peace joy and love. Help me to be an extension of you into their lives. Thank you for continuing to fill me up daily. Continue to mend my heart and fill me with your joy in all things. In Jesus precious name, AMEN.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Desires of My Heart

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

my prayer: Lord, I pray that the desires of my heart will be aligned with Your will for my life. Help me to trust your perfect timing. I surrender all my dreams to you. Specifically the dream I have in my heart for a family on earth. Help me to find delight in all you do everyday. Prompt me to spend time during my day that is pleasing to you. Conform my heart to your will for me and provide the strength needed to follow your will. In your Son's precious name, AMEN.

I had a quick appointment with my DR yesterday, my body is healing well. Physically and Emotionally. We talked about family planning - this is a question asked many times regarding how soon will we begin to actively work on a family - so to make that clear, we will not do anything to prevent a family. I rest knowing God has a plan, and when He is ready we will conceive again. We will do our part. We both have some apprehensions about conceiving again and have been very open with each other (which is awesome!) and will continue to walk in trust that God has a perfect plan for us. He will create desires of my heart that are pleasing to Him.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Last night I was over at a friends, watching the bachelor ... it was my first time this season - but her husband is out of town and that is the perfect show to watch with girls. ANYWAY, we were all set up with our popcorn and diet cokes. Her two little ones had gone to bed, then we hear this faint little voice. Her son was reading a book to himself and we could hear him on the monitor. Then we hear this faint little song ...
"Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so"
Children have no problem accepting the love the Father has for us, this is what we need to speak to ourselves everyday - Jesus LOVES US!

from joel today ...
Call Things as Though They Are
Today's Scripture
"…the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were" (Romans 4:17, NIV)
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Your Words have creative power. Just as God calls things that are not as though they were, we should also declare what we want to see in our lives. In other words, you may have days when you don't feel well, but don't go around saying, "Ah, my back has been hurting me. I'm getting so old. I don't think I'm ever going to get better."When you speak like that, you are speaking defeat into your future. Instead, turn it around. Declare a report of victory by saying, "I may not feel up to par, but I know it's only temporary. God is restoring health unto me. I'm getting stronger, healthier, and feeling younger. My best days are still up ahead."Remember, you're going to get what you call in to your life. You have creative power in your words, and you are prophesying your future. Declare what God says about you–that you are blessed and you cannot be cursed, that you are above only and not beneath! As you call things that are not as though they were, you will see God's wonderful promises and blessing come to pass in every area of your life!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, thank You for entrusting me with Your power. I choose to declare words of life and victory. Help me, Holy Spirit, to use my words to move forward in victory the way You have planned. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

We are strong in His word. The power of death and life is in the tongue. Keep boldly speaking Gods love, power and truth over your life.

Today, 9:45, I am heading to the Doctor. Please pray for peace entering the building, sitting in the waiting room and meeting with my doctor. I will relish the knowing that Jesus Loves me ... and my LAMININ created by God will hold me together.


Monday, February 9, 2009


This is a part of the video Aaron and I watched yesterday - hope you have some time to watch:) GRACE AND PEACE!

So Much

Where I have been ... Aaron was hording the computer all weekend:) Well, we has doing work. When he prepares a message for Sunday he has quite a set up with his laptop and the "wired" computer when he writes, so I was not able to blog all weekend ... but the final message was GREAT:)

When Aaron writes, I try to leave the house - otherwise I interrupt him constantly. I was able to see three of my nephews play basketball on Saturday - 2nd grade, 4th grade and 6th grade. 6th grade boys are tall, quick and look like some of my high school students! Hopefully on the next few weekends I will make it out to see my high school players on their club teams. Basketball is NOT my sport of choice ... and I have had sometime to think about the upcoming volleyball season. So I am anxious to see how all the girls are doing.

My bible reading has moved my out of Genesis into Exodus. The three times that I have been through this book I have always either just come through something or I am in the the midst of a trial - regardless just Like God does - the timing is perfect. (Am I really surprised?) I like reading that when God first called Moses he questioned God. And argued with God the he was not "worthy" to go talk with Pharaoh or lead the Israelites out. Which is a HUGE task ...
From Stormie: The task however, was NOT too much for the One who assigned it. God's reply to Moses was, "I will be with you." that was all Moses needed. The exact details of how this miracle would be accomplished weren't revealed to Moses at that time. He was to walk by faith, resting in the assurance that God's presence was truly all he required. The same is true for you. The question to ask is not "Who am I?" but "Who is with me?" If God is with you, you have all you need.
Many times in my life, and many many times over my pregnancy I would question why me, and how can this be used by God. Am I strong enough ... and so on and so on. When I finally realized that NO I am not strong enough, but God is - then I was able to move through my days and continue to take one step at a time. Once I removed the focus from ME - this burden was much lighter. I ask for strength everyday, my heart needs constant support. But in the grand scheme of it all, doesn't everyone. We are all fragile beings, crated by God for God.

Aaron and I watched a POWERFUL DVD that a dear friend sent in the mail. ( she watched it with her Sunday school class the day Jeremy was born ... coincidence NO!) How Great is Our God, yes this is the title of a Chris Tomlin song - and he is part of this tour. The speaker: Louie Giglio, from Atlanta - and shared just how amazing our Creator is.
From the sleeve:
Your life is a miracle, and the Creator of the universe knows you by name. HE's big enough to breathe out stars, yet intricate enough to fashion together the trillions of cells that make up every facet of who you are. The God who spoke the universe into existence made you, too, and knows everything about you. From the smallest molecule to the situation you find yourself in right now, He's aware of your circumstances and intimately acquainted with everything you do. And He cares about you and promises to carry you through.
That's where we find hope in the midst of the darkest places in life. The journey is often complicated and painful, filled with confusion and chaos. Yet, the cross of Christ reveals God's promise to preserve and restore you no matter what the circumstance. He will hold onto you and hold you together, giving strength to those who hope in His unfailing love.
He is the everlasting God!
After we watched the video, we just sat. I had tears running down my face and we were hardly able to talk. Still now, it is hard to explain the power of the message and just how much God loves us. (loves me!)
Thank you Friend for sharing such an awesome message ... more about Louie and the Passion Talk Series can be found on their website :

So to ties this all up - my reading from God Calling this weekend was equally as powerful ...
On Me Alone
I am your Lord, your Supply. You must rely on Me. Trust to the last uttermost limit. Trust and be not afraid. You must depend on Divine Power only. I have not forgotten you. Your help is coming. You shall know and realize My Power.
Endurance is faith tried almost to the breaking point. You must wait, and trust, and hope, and joy in Me. You must not depend on man but on Me - on Me, your Strength, your Help, your Supply.
This is the great test. Am I your supply or not? Every great work for Me has had to have this great test-time.
Possess your souls in patience and rejoice. you must wait until I show the way. Heaven itself cannot contain more joy then that soul knows, when, after the waiting-test, I crown it Victor, but no disciple of Mine can be victor, who does not wait until I give the order to start. You cannot be anxious if you know that I am your supply.

God is good, I continue on step by step, hour by hour and day by day - God is my supply.


Friday, February 6, 2009

God's Longing

from God Calling:
To the listening ear I speak, to the waiting heart I come. Sometimes, I may not speak. I may ask you merely to wait in My presence, to know that I am with you.
Think of the multitudes who thronged Me when I was on Earth, all eager for something. Eager to be healed or taught or fed.
Think as I supplied their many wants, and granted their manifold requests, what it meant to Me, to find amid the crowd, some one or two, who followed Me just to be near Me, just to dwell in My Presence. How some longing of the Eternal Heart was satisfied thereby.
Comfort Me, a while, by letting Me know you would seek Me just to dwell in My Presence, to be near Me, not even for teaching, not for material gain, not even for a message - but for Me. The longing of the human heart to be loved for itself is something caught from the Great Divine Heart.
I bless you. Bow your heads.

God longs just to be with us - the creator of the universe, longs to be with me. He LONGS for us.

LONGING FOR: also means: eager, wishing for, keen, hoping for, wanting ... It is hard for me to imagine our God yearns for us to want to be with Him. He created us and then gave us each free will to choose Him.

This week I was meeting with some friends and the topic of how children would approach Jesus came up. They would come to him freely and with out any need other then to be with Him. In contrast the adults approached Jesus because they needed something, they needed something from Him to believe in Him. The children were simply drawn to Him, with out a need except to be.The way children flocked to Jesus, just to be - that is the longing He has for us today. I think about my time of being still, and have a new view - Because Of Jeremy (BOJ) - I have time to draw near to God. I have a heart to simply BE with Him.

This morning Aaron and I talked about many of the Because of Jeremy experiences we have heard about and witnessed over the past few months. So if you have a BOJ story, please share with us - we are so encouraged by all the ways Jeremy has touched our world. You can email if you want:

Thursday, February 5, 2009


my daily reading has brought me to Joseph's story ... Genesis 37
I read the account of Joseph being sold by his brothers.
stormies prayer: God, remind me that even when life seems unfair and things don't turn out like I expect, You have a plan for my life, and it is good.
Reading on, Genesis 39 Joseph and Potiphar's wife ... and he is placed in prison. Where again, we are taught the Lord was with him ...
stormies prayer: Heavenly Father, I thank You for the favor You show to those who love, obey, and serve You. Thank you for being with me and making the things I do prosper.

I cannot help but imagine how terrible the circumstances of Josephs life were. Through it all he maintained a close walk with the Lord - through good and bad. He was not kept from trouble, but God was with him right through it. This is still true today. God does not keep up from trouble - but will be with us, and bring us right through. In each circumstance Joseph came out on the other end in a better position them before. All of his experiences allowed him to be placed in a position to help his family. I can only begin to imagine what the Lord has planned for me - there are new things moving in my life right now - I am not ready to share details - but these opportunities would not be available if I currently had a child or if I were teaching daily. For this season, I am able to work for the Kingdom in ways I have not been able to serve - for that I can be thankful.
I pray that I can be obedient and serve him fully. I will continue to listen for God in my heart concerning how to proceed with opportunities and my roll in this adventure.
What a model of walking with God Joseph creates for us.

Finally ... if you are in the INDY area, you must got to Capstone, the coffee house/bookstore at Northview Christian Life Church ( to purchase the CD released by the North Beach Worship team - completely amazing!


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Ask for Rain

(really ... what does this mean?)
Ask For Rain

Today's Scripture
"Ask the LORD for rain in the time of the latter rain" (Zechariah 10:1, NKJ).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
In the Scripture, rain represents God's favor. This verse is telling us to "ask for rain even though it's raining." What does that mean? You might think, "If it's raining, it doesn't seem like you'd need to ask for it." But God is saying, "My favor is available to you, but you're not going to receive it unless you ask." Right now, God is showering down blessings, healing, promotion, and good ideas. It's raining favor. But we have to do our part to get our words in line with what God wants to do. We have to ask for that favor. We have to call it in if we are going to experience it. We have to release our faith with our words.This is a great day to be alive! God is pouring out his favor like no other time in history. Right now, it is raining increase. It's raining new ideas. It’s raining promotion. Don't let it pass you by. Start declaring it for yourself, "I am blessed. I am prosperous. I am favored. I am healthy. I am free." Ask for rain in this time of rain, and you’ll see His blessing and provision in every area of your life!

A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, thank You for Your grace, mercy, and favor. I ask for rain in the time of rain, I ask for increase in Your favor and blessing so I can be a blessing to those around me today and always. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

So I can honestly say, that I did not ask for this trial specifically - but I will ask for rain if it brings favor and blessings ... which brings me to a song by MercyMe "Bring the Rain". When I figure out how to attach a song I will. Turns out I was introduced to this song a year ago at the Discipleship Walk, then again just before Jeremys birth ... very powerful and very true. I will post the lyrics later if I cannot get the song to play.


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

my choice

this was a reminder today from Joel, that I have a choice. And I choose to bounce back - and use my setbacks for His glory.

Be a Bounce-Back Person
Today's Scripture

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold…" (I Peter 1:6-7, NLT).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
We all face disappointments and setbacks. Life is full of things that try to push us down. Maybe you got bad news concerning your health. A relationship didn't work out. Maybe you lost your job. It was a setback. When we face setbacks, it's easy to get discouraged or lose our enthusiasm. Too often we are tempted to just settle where we are. But if we're going to see God's best, we have to have a bounce-back mentality. That means when you get knocked down, you don't stay down. You get back up again. It means when disappointments come, you shake them off knowing that what the enemy meant for your harm God is going to turn around and use for your good.When you're a bounce-back person, you know that adversity is not permanent. Weeping may endure for a night, but you know joy is coming in the morning. There is wonderful joy ahead on the other side of this trial. Keep standing, keep believing, and choose to be a bounce-back person because you are coming out better off than you were before! You are rising higher, and you will fulfill the destiny God has in store for you!

A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, I choose to set my focus on You. I know that You are turning things around in my favor. I choose to stand and believe Your promises. Thank You for Your faithfulness in my life. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Sometimes Joel seems way to "Rah Rah - Go Team Jesus" to me - but in those instances I reflect back and that is just what I have needed. That is my team, and I need to remember He is always with me ... so sure bring on the "Rah Rah" I am on this team and Joel is simply reminding me. And if I recall, I choose to be on this team:)


Monday, February 2, 2009

Call on the name of the Lord

From Stormie:
What does it mean to call on the name of the Lord? It means to acknowledge who He is and the power of His very existence to do more than we can ask or think. It means to place your trust in Him and praise Him for all He does. When you call on the Lord's name, you give Him the praise that He deserves by recognizing Him in all of His holiness, authority, and glory. In doing so, you open yourself to the power and blessing He wants to bring into your life.

My Prayer:
Lord I call out to you, I call to you in praise and thanksgiving for all you have done and will do in my life and the lives of those around me. I call out to you to continue to fill me up with your mercy, grace and joy. Heavenly Father, I am so thankful that I can call on you and you hear me. Praise you Father, you know my heart, you know my pain and you know my tears. Thank you Father that I am not alone and as I call to you, you have heard me before I call out.
In your Son's precious name, Jesus, Amen.


Sunday, February 1, 2009

Looking back

4 weeks.
One month.
6lbs 14oz 21 inches.
Jeremiah Parker Shelby

Yesterday was a hard day for me, I was very restless. I did not want to talk with anyone but I also did not really want to be alone.
I finally just let myself cry. (about 10 pm) Big tears.
Asking God Why, Why My son. Why only 71 minutes, Why my family .... I cried for about 1 hour, then went to bed and fell asleep.
I think I just needed a good cry.
There are no answers to my questions and I do not expect to have any - but to let them out was a release. (As it is to share today)

This morning in my reading I was in the story of Lot, specifically when God was preparing to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot was extended a warning and was able to flee with his family. All made it out, but them Lot's wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:22-29) Stormie provided a specific prayer:
Dear Lord, walk with me to where you are leading me; help me to not keep looking back to the past so that I become paralyzed by it.

The key for me, is not to become paralyzed by the past. This can be true when dealing with loss as well as dealing with letting go of past sin. God is leading us all to his promises and we can not let our past keep us from the promised land. We can build on those experiences and learn - but not be stopped in our tracks. Satan would like us to become paralyzed by our circumstance. With Gods help, strength and His kingdom ... we press on.

So yes, I know and admit to the sadness and aching in my heart - but I continue to pray that God will use me and my experiences for the kingdom.