Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Once again, I read the perfect prescription for today ....

Not only so,but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:3-5

prayer: Heavenly Father, I am grateful that even in hard times, I can feel Your love, and You are always working in me a greater sense of hope.


Monday, September 29, 2008

Why am I so peaceful ... most of the time

There are number of people who know the journey Aaron and I are on, some read the blog others do not. What ever the case we are constantly asked "How are you doing?" Often we both reply, "okay", we are both very peaceful. Most of the time. Sometimes we have a hard moment, hour or day, and I thank God they are usually different times. (that is grace .. or mercy)
I am very pleased to know that we have so many followers praying for Jeremy, Aaron and I that are truly concerned and want to help - but sometimes I get the feeling we should be falling apart all the time. But we are not falling apart - we are so deeply rooted in the Lord, that is just about impossible. Our knowledge of the covering of prayers adds to our peace and comfort.
When I read the word from Joel Osteen this morning, it explained it so well. Regardless of the final outcome in ANY situation we already have victory ...

Today's Scripture
“Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37 AMP).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
No matter what challenges you may be facing today—at work, home, in your health or in your relationships, God promises that even in the middle of “all these things”, you can have victory. How? Victory starts in your heart and mind. Victory starts with peace that passes understanding. That means that you can have peace when it doesn’t make sense to have peace. When the rest of the world is full of anxiety and worry, you can live in peace.
Victory “amid all these things” also means that you can have joy deep down in your soul. You can have so much joy that you can’t even explain why you have it! It’s supernatural. It’s joy unspeakable and full of His glory and power. When you begin to dwell on God’s promise of victory, something will change on the inside of you.
You may have felt like you were losing ground five minutes ago, but right now you can take hold of the victory He’s promised. Open your heart to Him and receive the joy and peace He longs to give you. Remember, the joy of the Lord is your strength, and as you embrace His joy, you’ll be empowered to rise above your challenges so you can move forward into the victory He has for you!
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, thank You for Your promise of victory! Thank You for Your peace during the storms of life. Fill me with Your joy and strength as I put my trust in You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Although I have moments of pain and grief - I always return to a very peaceful place. Often after the 'bouts of sadness and pain I feel the closeness of God with me, I just know in my "knower" - that God has a perfect plan and he will use all things for His greater good. Even if the situation seems grim ...


Sunday, September 28, 2008

Psalm 28

I do apologize if posting that song was a downer - but I use this blog to post how I am feeling and once I have posted, it is out and I do not dwell on those feelings. The song "He Will Carry Me" which I have had on my iPOD for two years now, spoke to me like never before. I know and trust that it is tough, beyond what I could ever imagine, but God will carry me. I am not expected to be alone. None of us are expected to be alone.
We have God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and each other.

Today, after my daily reading, because it was the 28th of September, and because I was not headed off to school I had some extra time, I also read the 28th Psalm. This part of the verse stuck with me ...

Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts Him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.
Psalm 28:6-7

I rest knowing that we serve and AWESOME God and he hears our prayers and knows our hearts. God does not want for us to be troubled and he will use all things for his Glory.

Today, my heart leaps for joy and I am ever thankful for the strength the Lord provides. Continue to pray boldly, in His name!


Saturday, September 27, 2008

He Will Carry Me

I was listening to my iPOD ... this song came on and brought me to my knees and tears, at the same time provided strength.
This is how I feel most mornings driving into school. I am thankful to have found a song that expresses how I feel often, but have been unable to put into words.
I am certain that I can not make this journey without God, Aaron and the Prayer Warriors ....
here is the song:

He will carry me, Mark Shultz

I called, you hear me.
I've lost it all and it's more then I can bear.
I feel so empty.
You're strong I am weary.
I'm holding on, but I feel like giving in.
Still you're with me.

And even though I am walking through the valley of the shadow,
I will hold tight to the hand of Him 'cause love will comfort me.
And when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle.
He is all the strength that I will ever need.
He will carry me.

I know I am broken, but you alone can mend this heart of mine.
You are always with me.

And even though I am walking through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him 'cause love will comfort me.
And when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need.
He will carry me, He will carry me

And even though I have been so lonely, Like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy, but you said you would see me through the storm.

And even though I am walking through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of him 'cause love will comfort me.
And when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need.
He will carry me,
He will carry me
He will carry me



It is Saturday, my first weekend with no volleyball (yes we could have practiced, but when I can tell I need a day - how much more do the players!)

My reading at the end of the week has been great. I have entered Acts, and it is so eye opening to read about the early church and the start up of what we all just assume has always been there. Now, for me, with Aaron and starting the Brookside Community Church I have been exposed to Acts before, and I know first hand all the "inside" stuff that goes along with starting a church and maintaining a church. In addition to getting the body, you need to have guidelines, protocol and of course "rules" What is great, all of that can be bible based. God has already provided that plan. GLORY!

But that was just one part of my reading, the other details that spoke to me, have to do with how dependant the followers were in prayer. They made no move with out first praying and often accompanied the prayer with fasting. God moved the church (which is the people , not the building) to change the world, through prayer, fasting and action.

The first scripture that I read, Acts 12:1-7. In this passage, Peter has been imprisoned by Herod, who just put to death James. Herod had every intention to do the same to Peter.
"So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him" Acts 12:5
The night before Peter was to see Herod, and angel appeared and guided Peter out of the prison and chains. Peter went to the house where many people had gathered, to share this great news - but they did not believe, they thought it was a vision. Finally, he was able to share the story of how God delivered him.

We must always leave the manner and timing of answers to our prayers in God's hands, including the possibility of Gods swift action. If we always assume God will delay, then we have lost perspective. God is not on our timetable, and sometimes HE decides to act even before we expect ... HOW AMAZING!

Just imagine, what we can do with this body, with these prayer warriors - what are we capable of changing. It does say, where two or more agree, in His name it will be done. POWERFUL!

I rest in this knowledge, that we can make a difference in each others lives and provide the support and strength through God, to do anything.

I continue to thank God daily for each of you, the covering of prayers for Aaron, Jeremy and me are like blankets that provide support, strength, hope and faith - God Bless you all.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

what a day

Yesterday was one of those days I have not been looking forward to. I was late to school, I hate it when students have to wait to get into my room, i almost ran out of gas on my way in and i had a poor attitude. I was short with my classes, in a funk. I was having all sorts of thoughts about my future, and Jeremy's. 

One thought that continued to creep in dealt with coaching volleyball. I love coaching volleyball, I love training players to become teammates and better players.  I love the relationships developed with the players and parents. But yesterday I spent the day questioning myself and what on earth I was doing - was I even making a difference.

Then God showed up and showed out!
BIG ...
I have one player that is having a hard time at home, we talked on Monday at length. And she felt better, her mother even sent me a thank you. That was great ... but Yesterday after practice she approached me again to say even though things are not great, she feels so much better having shared with me. In fact, she had written something she wanted to share with me. She ran up to the locker and brought back a notebook filled with poetry. She told me she typically writes all the time, but over the last 2 weeks she has had nothing to write. But Tuesday the words came pouring out - and she wanted me to read the poem, because I had helped to inspire her. It was amazing. We both cried, then hugged - she has no idea how such a small gesture impacted me. That was a nudge from God letting me know I am in the right place for a time like this. She was thanking me for being there for her, and little does she know how she was there for me.

Following that, I met with parents of a player. Over the past few years I have gotten to know these parents well, as we discuss their daughters future (high school volleyball and beyond) She is very fortunate to have parents that care so much for her. We had our discussion - then at the end they let me know that they have been reading this blog - and the impact it has made on them and their daughter. WHOA!  Aaron and I have been very selective about sharing our news, and I do plan to let my vb team know, but I have not wanted to add any stress or additional burden the team with this news. For me to know that I have been unknowingly impacting this family was again a bump from God saying,
keep it up. This family, did not know I was having a hard day - they impacted me and provided the encouragement needed so desperately yesterday. THANK YOU!!!

God is so good, we are never alone. 
He always sends messengers to us when we need it the most. Most often from unexpected sources.

So this morning when I read the devotion sent from my Church ... I was moved to share this story.
 * reminder, we are doing a 6 week study, Life On Loan, with 40 days of prayer 

Day 18: Reflecting God; Whether You Like it or Not!
From Chapter Four
“Peter (apostle) said that we should speak as if speaking the very words of God. He said we should serve with the strength God provides. Why? So that God may be praised. You never know when a moment of significance will be coming your way…How you act is a reflection on God – from the words you use and the way you live to the choices you make. You are either enhancing God’s reputation or detracting from it.”
Devotional Thought
People are watching you. Right now, and always, people are watching you. Even if you don’t like being watched, it is happening. We can speak as God would speak, and we can dispense grace and mercy as he does. We can enhance God’s reputation; or if we are to admit it, we can fall drastically short of that goal.
Think about your words and actions among your friends, neighbors, family, and co-workers. Pray about your everyday interactions with others and consider in what ways this may influence people’s attitudes toward God. Pray for the grace that has been given to you to flow back out of you to everyone around you. Pray for God’s grace in your words, deeds, and attitudes. And be thankful for the times that you have served God well and been a positive reflection of who God is!
“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength that God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ…” 1 Peter 4:10-11 (NIV)

I have an additional prayer request ... one of my co-workers shared with me on Tuesday that her husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer - please lift this family, his doctors, nurses and all those that will provide care for this family that they will feel the strength, love and peace of Jesus Christ. 


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How to stay Strong

How do you stay strong ... Joel states it perfect for me:)

Meditate on Him
Today's Scripture
“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; meditate on and talk of all His marvelous deeds and devoutly praise them” (Psalm 105:2 AMP).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
When you meditate on God’s Word and His marvelous deeds, it will change you! It will begin to drive out old, negative thoughts and fill you with His strength and power. How does that happen? Imagine that you are holding a glass of dirty water in your hand. It’s full of all kinds of particles, sand and dirt. If you were to pour fresh, clean water into that glass continually and just let it overflow, eventually all the dirty water would be gone. All you would have left would be the pure, clean water. And you wouldn’t have to really do anything to get rid of the dirty water except allow the new, clean water to flow. Your mind is cleansed and renewed in the same way. If you’ll get into the habit of putting in the right thoughts–thoughts of faith, thoughts of victory, thoughts of praise—then before long, your mind is going to be transformed and renewed. You’re going to find yourself positive, hopeful, strong and courageous. You’ll see God’s hand of blessing and increase, and you will live the abundant life He has in store for you!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, I humbly submit my mind to You. I choose to meditate on You and Your promises so that You can cleanse and renew my mind. Thank You for working in me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I am an Aunt - again:)

For the 10th time I have become an Aunt!
3 girls ... 7 boys, that seems a bit lopsided, but what a surprise to find out that my sister and her husband welcomed a little boy (Jameson Boardman) into our world yesterday afternoon.
20 min after my Doctors appointment. Which means, Aaron and I were the first to know.

They are very patient people, who did not know the sex of the baby, and actually had pretty much plannned on a girl. So never say God does not have a sense of humor! They were both pretty shocked when the Doctor anounced "Its a Boy!" :)


Sunday, September 21, 2008


Last night Aaron and I met with our awesome life group, this is a small group that in addition to bible study we have become quite close with over the past 3 years. The group is great. Currently we are starting a series with the church called "Life on Loan" and our group will be meeting (along with all the life groups in the church) weekly for 6 weeks. The series is challenging the church in Spiritual Growth - Aaron and I look forward to how God will use us in this study. Additionally, we are extremely appreciative that we will be with this strong group consistently over the next 6 weeks. (AMEN!)

Talking with the group one statement was repeated to me regarding this blog and the trial Aaron and I are in ... How strong we are. I laughed and said some days ... but truly, I am not strong at all. MY strength is just God. God is providing me with the strength, he is never very far.

Which brings me to the reading yesterday ....
Remaining in Him
"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you" John 15:7

God says if we remain in Him and let his words remain in us, we can ask of him whatever we want and He will answer. That does not mean we will always get what we want. It means that because we are so closely entwined with Christ, we will have His mind and will learn how to pray for what HE wants for our lives. When we do that we end up doing His will and seeing answers to our prayers.

PRAYER: Lord, continue to work in me. Provide me the strength needed daily. I know you love Jeremy, he is yours. I thank you for the time that I get to nurture and love him. I pray for his healing and growth in your name. I pray for all Prayer Warriors that they will remain in you, and feel your strength in their lives. AMEN


Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday 9.19

In review, this has been a good week - Praise God.
I have been more worn out, super sleepy like in the first Trimester ... my conclusion is that Jeremy is growing. I have been listening to my body, when I feel that tiredness I either sit down and lounge or if possible sleep.

The other part of my week that has been good is through my reading ...
this morning I read 4 different "prescriptions"
John 12:46
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
prayer: Jesus, thank You that You are the light of the world. Because I walk with You, I will never have to live in darkness.

John 14:12-14
I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things then these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it.
prayer: Dear Lord, give me faith and power to pray for others in Your name and according to your leading, and see miraculous things happen in their lives because of your answers to those prayers.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world give. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

Peace - Glory - Praise - Faith - Belief - Strength - Comfort .... all a direct result of prayer, walking with the Lord step by step daily.

Pray boldly in His name today, everyday.
Lord I pray for Jeremy's development. I pray for his heart, brain, ears, eyes, hands, feet, kidneys, liver, and continued growth. I pray for your healing in each area of his body. I pray for Aaron, for strength, insight and discernment. I pray for the Brookside Community that anything not of you would be taken away and discarded. I pray for my sister, who will be induced on Monday for continued good heath and the health of the new baby - we all look forward to meeting. I pray for my family, as they prepare for the new baby and feel sensitive to my emotions. I pray for my accountability partner, that she would continue to feel peace and your glory in her life. I pray for my Life Group, that any troubles or hurt they are experiencing will be handed over to you, that they may find peace in you. I pray for my volleyball teams - that they will continue to feel your love and strength as they build belief in themselves. I pray for the Prayer Warriors - continue to cover them in your love, hold them in your strong hands and provide a hedge of protection around each of them that they will witness your glory.
Lord, hear my petitions and my prayers that they may be pleasing to you and your will.
 In Your name, AMEN.


Thursday, September 18, 2008


Our second Ultra Sound was wonderful, the nurse that worked with us again caring compassionate and helpful. Jeremy is growing, his heart rate was 167 and is doing well. His profile is too cute ... we look forward to meeting him. We did not see a doctor on Tuesday, but have an appointment Monday the 22nd. So we will know more regarding the ultra sound at that time. BUT till then, it was great to see him.

Powerful reading this morning ....
John 10:9-10
"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."
prayer: Dear Jesus, I thank you that you are the door through which I can enter and find salvation, security, provision and abundance of life.

This first reading was enough for me today ... but I continued to read.
The next passage comes from the story about Jesus raising Lazarus ....

second reading ....
John 11:40-42
Then Jesus said, " Did I not tell you that if you believed, that you would see the glory of God?"
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."

Jesus was not with Lazarus and his sisters (Mary and Martha) when he died. They were very dear friends of Jesus and we in their mind was "late" now they would have to wait until the resurrection to see their brother again. But although we read the story initially and think why was Jesus late ... when indeed he was right on time. Mary and Martha had a number of visitors that were around to witness the return of Lazarus - how many more people then believed because of Gods timing that demonstrated His glory. Through the time that Jesus was on his way to Lazarus he was praying to God.

Jesus brings life, no matter how dead and helpless things seem. We need to keep praying and believe in His ability and desire to answer.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

2nd Ultra Sound

Today, Aaron and I have our second Ultra Sound ... I am filled with mixed emotions. During our last ultra sound, which started out great turned in to the day I would most like to forget ever happened. I relive that day often - but the Dr has different news. Because of that ... I am taking the day off from school. Although we have a match tonight, and I will be there for that, I know I will want some time to just be - and not rush from the Dr to school. Aaron and I can have lunch together, and spend some time with each other -not in a rush.

I am looking forward to seeing Jeremy again, he has become more active - especially when I sit after walking around the classroom, after dinner at home, and when I am laying in bed.

This morning from Joel ....
Trust God’s Goodness
Today's Scripture
“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” (Psalm 84:11)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Believing in God and trusting Him is easy when everything is going well, and there doesn’t seem to be anything bothering you. But to truly declare God’s goodness even when trials and confusion surround you is really trusting God. God is so good to you, He wants you to grow, mature, and learn from so many different situations. So even when things don’t make sense, keep a positive attitude knowing that God has your best interests at heart. You don’t always have to figure it out on your own, or go around living with a chip on your shoulder toward life. You can choose to trust God in everything, and live freely experiencing His blessing in your life!

A Prayer for Today
God, thank You for Your goodness and faithfulness. My prayer today is that I might learn to truly trust You and Your goodness in all circumstances. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

I have a second prayer request ... in addition to Jeremy ... this Sunday when Aaron was preparing for the Sunday service we experienced all sorts of set backs. The biggest was that someone helped them self to the speakers in the sanctuary - so we had no sound system. Of course we still worshiped and praised the Lord and the message was still shared - but it seems at Brookside we are constantly battling evil. Please keep Brookside Community Church, the neighborhood, and leadership in your prayers.


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Unfailing Faith

"But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers " Luke 22:23

Jesus, during the last supper while talking with the 12, specifically told Simon Peter that he would deny Jesus 3 times, but reassured him that he had been praying for his faith to bring him trough the troubles. While Simon Peter did deny Jesus and failed that important test, his faith did not fail. His faith was not in works, or in himself, it was in Jesus and he went on to lead the first century church - even after his failure during Christs trial. Jesus found that his prayer was answered . Peters Faith did not fail.

This was in my morning reading today, and it continues to reassure me that when my mind and heart have issues dealing with an overwhelming sadness and questions - that I have a foundation of faith. Even when I do not feel strong, I pray that my faith will stay strong and my foundation will remain solid.

This is a prayer that I choose to lift up to Our Father, for all Prayer Warriors, that your faith will remain strong and will not fail.


Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Meeting

Friday Aaron and I met with the genetics counselor, a grief nurse, and a neo natalogist ... all WONDERFUL! All three showed extreme compassion, knowledge and were great. I thank God for placing those women on our path. It absolutely takes a special call and gift to be able to share "horrible" information with couples in situations that are unbelievable. Thank you Prayer Warriors for helping to prepare Aaron and I for these meetings.

I did a little bit of research on Thursday to help prepare my head and heart for the upcoming meetings - but I was a mess Thursday night. I called my sister, the researcher, to talk to - through my tears and often angry voice she was able to help me understand and calm down. That was a tremendous help prior to the meeting on Friday.

So what did we learn ... first I learned that I have a cute hair cut ... when we checked in, one of the nurses made a comment about my hair cut, which by the way was not clean and pulled back in a barrette - not what I would think of as a good hair day. BUT nice to hear none the less, when I was feeling very unsure and vulnerable. Turns out that nurse, was the Grief Nurse we talked to later.

To begin, we met with the genetics counselor, we had a lesson on DNA and how chromosomes are created. We found out that our type if Trisomy 13 is sporadic. Neither of us carry an extra 13, and in future pregnancy there is very little chance to have it happen again. That is good. We also learned that the extra 13 showed up in all of the cells taken during the amnio, which means Jeremy has an extra chromosome 13 attached to all cells. There are different types, where the extra 13 might just attach to a few cells. Unfortunately in our situation, that creates a very poor prognosis. We talked more about what was seen on the utlra sound and all the abnormalities are a direct result of the extra 13.

Then we were able too talk with a nurse that specializes in helping parents prepare for the birth and death of a newborn baby. (this is the nurse that liked my hair. So immediately I liked her.) She was great, because of the extra 13, the length of Jeremy's life is not known. We will create multiple plans depending on what happens. We will make all the plans prior to the birth. Our goal is to go full term, and have a live delivery. (still birth is a possibility) She told us about a program called Now I lay Me Down to Sleep, photographers that will document Jeremy in the hospital - they are professional photographers, that provide this service for free. (UNBELIEVABLE!) The nurse has made it clear that she wants to provide Aaron and I with all the wonderful things that happen when a baby arrives and help up to be prepared for that day -with all the hard choices already made. She will help us to create a plan with no regrets.

Finally, we talked to a Neonatalogist, she was able to explain in more detail about the heart abnormality, what the NICU is like, and would be honored to be the pediatrician for Jeremy. She was great at explaining the medical jargon for us to understand.

Aaron and I left the office emotionally exhausted, we had cried, laughed and hugged over the 2 hour meeting - but we also felt very peaceful and trust that we are in a place that can help all three of us - and our friends and family through out this circumstance. We are clear that some days will be great and others very hard.

Although the prognosis is poor for the natural life of Jeremy - Aaron and I continue to walk in faith that we serve an Awesome God, who does perform miracles. While recognizing that we already have one miracle, with Jeremy now.

This morning I read Luke 18:1-8, the Parable of the persistent Widow.
(this is 6-8a) 6 And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.

prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You that You are a God who is moved by persistent prayer and You hear me when I cry out to You day and night. Because of that I will always pray and not give up.

A number of family and friends have reached out to Aaron and I , and expressed that they do not know what to say - that is OKAY! Please do not feel like you even need to say anything - if you are struggling to find the right words - maybe just a hug or an I am thinking of you is fine. I trust that if there is something important the God needs for you to share with Us - you will know. Aaron and I understand that what seems to be a very personal situation extends to our family, friends, co workers and beyond. We will all have hard days and good days - continue to be faithful in prayer and Trust God - he does some pretty amazing things and I look forward to seeing how he handles this one.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Special Blessing

Tuesday, Aaron found a book left in his mailbox at church (where he works) from one of the Pastors wives. She left it for him to give to me ... the book is titled Sometimes Miracles Hide, Stirring Letters from those Who Discovered God's Blessings in a Special Child. by Bruce Carroll.

The book contains letters from families in response to a song by Bruce Carroll, Sometimes Miracles Hide. All the letters are similar in the sense that they found out midway through their pregnancy that things were not normal and all were encouraged to terminate. None chose that route. In addition to the letters, there are devotions and inspirational messages. Although emotional to read, again I feel the overwhelming sense that I am not alone.
I read the first letter, and it was so similar to the day that Aaron and I had our first ultra sound it was eire.

from the song:
God will wrap some blessings in disguise you may have to wait this lifetime to see with your eyes ... 'Cause sometimes miracles hide ....

God creates every child in His own image and that, if we let him, He'll bring triumph and joy out of every situation.

Even more amazing, I have only met the woman one time, and I am humbled to think that she thought to pass this wonderful little book on to Aaron, Jeremy and me. I look forward to reading more, and unpacking the blessings God has in store.

The book was earmarked for us to rad a specific page ...
Trusting Faith:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
** this was one of the scriptures read when Aaron and I were married and continues to be now of our life verses ... so powerful!
Part of the devotion: When we stop striving to "understand" and give in to trust, we will see that His mighty hand was at work all along in the thing we thought would crush us. Not only will we perceive a new reality, but we will rejoice in it.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Luke 8:23-25

As they sailed, he (Jesus) fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying "Master, Master we're going to drown!"  He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples.  Luke 8:23-25

prayer: Lord I pray that when the storms of life come, no one will have to wonder where my faith is because I will fully trust that Your power is greater than anything I face.

The word is so rich - I thank God daily that he has provided us with the written word to amplify what we hear in our spirit.  Many praises and thanks for all the people the Lord has placed in my path to help me in such a time as this. I pray one day I will be able to help each of you as well. 

one of those people ....  My Dept Chair is awesome, I let him know about my upcoming appointments to get a sub scheduled ... he did one better. He sent me a prayer: " Lord I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, and my baby ... In Jesus' name Amen "
I teach in a public high school with a number of strong Christians that surround not only me, but the students and faculty in the building. What a true blessing to have all these people around. 

Concerning dates that I will be missing school ... Aaron and I have our first appointment with a Genetics Counselor Friday. (2pm) I am praying for discernment for what questions to ask and handling the information that we will receive. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Go Joel!

Like I had anticipated ... talking with the doctor is hard. When I am just enjoying being pregnant, feeling Jeremy move, the Doctor brings me back to the medical issues the Jeremy is facing. It is hard to even begin to comprehend that he might not be okay. Even after sitting in an exam room with results. I still simply can not begin to believe it.

then I read the word from Joel Osteen for today:

Hold Fast Your Confession
Today's Scripture
“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession” (Hebrews 4:14 NKJ).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
What are you confessing over your life today? The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. If you go around speaking doom and gloom, confessing that “Murphy’s law” always happens to you, then that’s exactly what you’ll get. But when you allow the Word of God to direct your confessions, when you confess His blessing and promises over your life, it opens the door for God to move on your behalf. That’s why it’s so important to “hold fast” or maintain your confession of your faith in Him. That means you can’t go around confessing blessing one minute and doom and gloom the next. That would be like trying to dig a hole by removing the dirt with one shovel full, and then putting it right back in with the next. You won’t get anywhere! In the same way, we have to hold fast our confession of faith in God and His goodness. Remember, He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. As you diligently seek Him and hold fast your confession, you will rise up higher and see the victory and blessing the Lord has in store for you.
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, today I choose to speak words that glorify You. I choose to speak blessing over the people around me. Search my heart and remove anything that would keep me from honoring You with my words, thoughts, and actions. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Through this trial I will stay strong through God and the Kingdom. Thank you all ....


Seeing the Doctor

Monday, Aaron and I visited the Dr again. The Dr i have seen during all previous visits was in surgery, and we could have waited an hour - but elected to see one of the other DR in the practice. He was great. At first I was apprehensive - to have talk with someone that did not know Aaron and I - but he was perfect. Turns out he is on the Ethics Board at the hospital, has a BA in Religious Studies and is Jewish (you know Jesus was jewish). He was easy to talk with and was upfront that this office has not seen a pregnancy with Trisomy 13.

Through our talk, we discussed the type of counselor we would like to talk with, and he hopes to connect us with someone before the end of the week. He did not use the term "not compatible with life" instead, said the out look is Grim. That seemed easier to hear.

He measured me with the tape, he did say I was on the small side, but that was nothing to be overly concerned about. Funny ... I do not feel small. Jeremy posted a 160 heartbeat, which is very good. We also will have a second ultra sound next Tuesday (9am) and then see the DR again on the 22nd. If my DR is again in surgary ... that day I know she is with my sister. My sister is going to be induced that day, at least I will be close!

We are going to start seeing the DR more often, to help track the progress. We are closing in on the 24 week mark, which is huge.

We continue to lean on the Word, friends and family for strength and prayers ...
thank you all !


Monday, September 8, 2008


Yesterday at church while Aaron was preaching, Sharon, one of the ladies that attends Brookside asked me if I could write down the prescriptions. I was confused - thinking she wanted me to write something for her. And thought it was strange timing, during the sermon to ask me to write a prescription for her. She went on to say, while pointing at my notes from the sermon - you know the Prescriptions, my writing is not good and I do not want to miss any. Finally understanding, I said Oh the Scripture - she replies, yes the prescriptions.

Not until I was sharing the story with my mom, did it dawn on me - Sharon has it correct - the Bible contains all the prescriptions we need.

my weekend prescription:
Therefore I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

Throughout Mark, Jesus is provided opportunity after opportunity to show the greatness of God. How loving, kind and generous God is to those who believe. Jesus spends most of the chapter teaching his disciples ... we are all his disciples. Jesus teaches his disciples what it "takes" to heal people - POWERFUL!
I am anxious to re-visit Mark, to see what I have completely missed. But I am thankful for the prescriptions that I have acquired so far ...


Sunday, September 7, 2008

A Prayer Shawl

WOW - is my sister and her friend (my friend as well) Totally cool ..... I have never heard of the Shawl Ministry ... but now I am part of it! This afternoon my sister and her friend "presented" me with a prayer shawl. (Yes, that is me wearing it ) It touched me in so many ways.

First: that they would even think of me. Apparently, before they had communicated about the shawl they were both making arrangements and plans to get a shawl for me.

Second: the colors of the shawl have specific meanings, but of course they are "beth" colors, most of my beaded work will match.Learning more about the shawl, it was created with yarn, prayers and blessings by the members of the Holy Spirit at Geist Shawl Ministry. Included with the shawl, which completely reminds me of Grandma Diehl, is a pamphlet that includes prayers of Blessing, Healing, Comfort and Symbolism.

The symbolism deals with the significance of Three's. There is a 3-stitch seed pattern to represent the Trinity as well as a symbol of planting peace, healing, love, comfort and hope.

The shawl wraps perfectly around my shoulders like a hug - and a concrete reminder of all the prayers around the globe for Aaron, Jeremy and me. What a true blessing - I am still overwhelmed at the out pouring of prayers, and now I have a physical reminder, when I do begin to feel alone. Thank you Sheri ... and Laura. What a truly amazing gift.

To find out more about the shawl ministry: www.shawlminsitry.com


Friday, September 5, 2008

Solid Reading Today

Why am I constantly amazed, when my daily reading is just what I need!
Today from Jesus I read:
Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid just believe" Mark 5:36
PRAYER: Jesus, help me not be afraid when bad news comes, but rather look to You and have faith that you will work a miracle in my life.

on a side note: the practice shirts my players wear at volleyball all have BELIEVE on the back - they are a talented group of athletes that along the road have gotten used to not winning, and need to constantly be encouraged. So not only while I work to strenghten their belief in themselves and each other - I am continually building in my belief in God to do great things in each player and in me. I selected this saying for the shirts in early July, before I knew how much it would minister to me through out this fall. For that I am thankful!

This week has been a good week, but encouraging words from Jesus are always welcome. Aaron and I have our monthly appointment with th doctor Monday, and while today I am not thinking about what that might be like - I am sure I will be thinking Sunday and Monday about the appointment.

From Stormies Heart, she wrote about waiting ...
As long as you are walking with the Lord you are going from glory to glory and strength to strength. Always going with Gods plan.
POWERFUL ... this week has been exhusting, 2 matches back to back (1 going 4 an the other 5) plus a facutly meeting ... at 6:30 before school - but even though I have been sleepy, God strenghtens me and i am able to accomplish all that needs to be done. Stormie emphazied the need to pray often, even if they are the "same" prayers - God hears and respond to each one.
Later in the passage, she wrote: God has been known to do a quick work for which he has been preparing for a long time.
Keeping in mind that in the natural we think of time quite different then God -we are but a blink in the whole scheme of things - so what is quick .... things change when God is ready. We all jsut need to be patient and wait. For anyone that has known me for any amount of time, patience is not a strong attribute I posess. BUT I am getting better:)

have a wonderful weekend .... many blessings and prayers


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Starting Mark

In my daily reading, i am just starting Mark. I read this morning that Mark was written for the non-believer. Which is the reason for so many stories about the miracles and healing found through out the book.  Matthew was great, and I am looking forward to new insights through Mark. 

This week has been good -  the word has been feeding my soul and I am very thankful. The note cards are great, even when I read them during my study hall and sometimes get teary -eyed they are just the nugget needed.

on a side note ... last weekend the Volleyball team ended the loosing streak at Avon. We finished 1-3, better then the last 4 years. looking even brighter, last night we beat a team that we have not beat in 4 years either. That certainly helps my spirit. 

Hope you all have  a great rest of the week ... our Football team heads to Lucas Oil Stadium tomorrow night, the school is buzzing. 


Monday, September 1, 2008

Mustard Seeds

Mustard seeds - some of the smallest seeds that can be found create a HUGE tree ....

20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20

My daily reading has brought me to Matthew - and one of my favorites ... imagine just a little faith in God and amazing things will happen. I pray for the kind of faith that can move the mountains in my life.

Saturday my VB team played in a tourney that in 3 years we have not won a match. Talk about a dry spell, last year I was considering dropping the tourney. I always find a story to share with the team before we play. Last week I came across a story about conquering mountains, first, one must recognize the mountain then, decide you will over come, then take one step at a time.
Reading to the team I am focused on the Match we are about to play - and until this morning realized I was also reading to myself - about my life. As I determine to take one day at a time, moving in a forward direction my guide is God. I will rely on his word to direct me through the mountain.

Referring back to the scripture, my faith does not need to fill the room - but even faith as small as a mustard seed - nothing will be too hard.

Enjoy this Labor Day, having just returned to school teaching, I was ready for a long weekend! I have the opportunity to go hang out with my Family, Aaron and I are pretty lucky - our Families are mostly in town. This year my mother decided to have a theme cookout ... Hawaiian ... pictures to follow:)