Friday, January 9, 2009

Reflection

Last year I attended the Discipleship Walk, this is a weekend of spiritual renewal, growth and an opportunity to create a closer relationship with Jesus. That was one year ago this weekend. Reflecting back on that weekend, my journey was forever changed. I developed new and meaningful relationships and my relationships that were established prior to the weekend were strengthened. Those relationships are a strong hold for me now. In addition to my walk with Christ, that was also changed forever.

At the end of the weekend we got a devotional, the devotions are day by day, and last year I decided I would wait until this year to use it. The title is God Calling. It is written from Gods perspective, as if he is talking direct to me ... I felt the need to share my reading from yesterday

Love Bangs the Door
Life with Me is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties. My guidance is often by shut doors. Love bangs as well as opens. Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of My Will, when It seems not joyous.

Saint Paul, my servant, learnt this lesson of the banged doors when he said "our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." Expect rebuffs until this is learned - it is the only way.
Joy is the daughter of calm.

Nothing over the past 6 months has been easy in the natural. When we received the news during our first ultra sound at 17 weeks that we were looking at Trisomy 13 - and the prognosis was not good. It was another 2 weeks when we found out that our tests had come back showing yes, Trisomy 13. We were given information that the likelihood for our pregnancy to make it full term and to have a live birth was unlikely. Considering that - Aaron and I have been so extremely blessed that we carried Jeremy for 40 weeks and had the opportunity to hold our son - alive and be with him when he passed. Today I marvel at that blessing and miracle.

I can only image considering this passage what greater Glory He has planned ... in that I enter into a peace that surpasses understanding. Then a feeling of JOY that can not be described - the Lord does hold us in his palm. Now please do not assume that tears are not being shed, at any given moment there are tears and there is sadness, but again we have been so covered in prayer we come out on the other side with some new thought of what a blessing Jeremy continues to be.

Today Aaron took the final things over to the funeral home, which I am sure was no easy task, but he was able to take care of that. We have finalized the plans for the services next week - prayers are always welcome. THANK YOU ALL!

GRACE AND PEACE!


5 comments:

Vermilion Family said...

Beth you are such an inspiration to me. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. You always said this blog was more of your outlet and didn't expect others to read it but I am glad that they have. I am blessed each time I read your entries and I know others are as well. We will always be here for you and Aaron and raise you up in prayer. We love you guys!

The Vang Family said...

Beth, we love you both and it was so great to get to share the Walk with you. :) I'm praying that God will comfort you both during this very hard time. With lots of love, Becky Vang #79 - Table of Esther

BlondesPoopMascara.blogspot.com said...

De Colores

Buckeyefan said...

Beth and Aaron,
We are always thinking of you. I know this has been the most difficult thing you could ever go through. Know that you are not walking alone through this journey. He will guide you down the road set for you. You will find your guidance in time.
We love you
Rob and Jas Burch

ThereseAnn said...

Aaron & Beth,
You are in our prayers, How many hearts your dear son has already touched, you already know the many blessings these precious children bring...thank you for sharing so much of your journey though this beautiful and spirit filled blog.

When or if you are interested, the Living with trisomy 13 community has a wonderful Treasured Memory Message Board with many families who've had to say good by much too soon to the beautiful children. Its a grief to Healing JOY board through the many cycles of grief. Please know you are welcome, and if interested, please email me,
Many Angel Blessings,
ThereseAnn
http://www.livingwithtrisomy13.org