When I try to find my passion and define myself in those things - I will never find any type of satisfaction. All those activities can be great, and full of fire - when I am intentional about igniting my passion for Christ. He makes all things new - A-HA, the reading from Joel on Wednesday.
Recently I have been trying to make "things" normal. And normal for me is what my life looked like one year ago. After these past 2 busy days, it is clear my normal before Jeremy is gone. Jeremy moved me to a new place. I have been re-created, just like when we truly commit our lives to the Lord. There must be a change - you can not continue to live a worldly life when we are called to change. When I try to focus on the things, I loose sight of God and then there is no direction no passion no fire. In an effort to comfort my own heart with the loss of Jeremy I have wanted to get my life to my old normal - but just like my "Special Nurse" told me in September - the Old Beth is gone and a New Beth will emerge. At the time I did not understand, I could not even begin to wrap my head around the idea. This new revelation is heavy for me - not bad or good , just heavy.
Currently, I am working on settling into the new me. A work in progress - I feel like I am getting to know a new person. I am often surprised that I do and do not do certain things.
I know, trust and walk in faith that God has a perfect plan - and I look forward to watching the plans unfold.
GRACE AND PEACE!