About the same time, a family friend contacted me regarding a possible adoption.
I turned my heart to God, for he knows quite well my desire for children - I began to hear a new song. As I began to hear this new song, I began to see our Kingdom Family - one that only Our Father could create. One that lead me to begin to explore adoption. My exploration was stopped short, when searching online I was overwhelmed and discouraged.
Then around Thanksgiving, a positive pregnancy test. The thought of adoption was pushed even further away. With that loss, my feelings about a family came into question. I was heartbroken.
This year I am doing a devotion on Women of the Bible ... so far I have spent a week on Eve, Sarah, Hagar and this week Lots Wife. The first three provided promises that spoke to my heart, each speaking about children. Those could each be separate entries - maybe.
Last Thursday we received an out of the blue call, remember the family friend with the possible adoption ... well the birth mom was having contractions. She decided the Sunday before, while in a special residence for single moms, that yes this baby would be put up for adoption. The call was to see if Aaron and I were interested - the little girl would probably arrive over the weekend.
I was trembling, crying and I think even laughing.
The green room is painted and ready to be outfitted as a kids room, well there are a few things that need to be tossed, donated or something. My mind began spinning over what would need to be done to bring a baby home in a weekend.
I talked to Aaron, my mom, the mom of the birth mother, and the residency that was preparing for a new arrival. In about 5 hours - I was all in. If it was the Lord's will, I was ready to do what he was calling me to. Just as I was putting together a picnic dinner for Aaron and I to take over to church, I got a call from the residency.
In minutes, I knew the will of the Lord was that this little one was not meant for us. The birth mom has selected a family she had met earlier that week. Then flooded in mixed emotions - we did not even get a chance to meet the birth mom ... I was sad and disappointed. Then I was very peaceful, the Lord calls us to be willing. I pray that I continue to be fully submitted to him. In all things.
From the whirlwind of Thursday, I had created a connection with a fantastic adoption ministry, the counselor I spoke with let me know the steps needed to become potential adoptive parents in their facility. WOW, a first step. Something I was completely stumped by in October.
Friday, I took a step by contacting the adoption ministry. While I have not heard back, I feel confident that I am in alignment with the Lord, he is our provider ... He will provide.
This is just the beginning.
GRACE AND PEACE!